Be Bold, Be Brave, And You'll Be Fine
Navigating Uncharted Waters: Lessons on Resilience, Reinvention, and Bold New Beginnings
In a single moment, my life changed with five words: ‘Your position has been eliminated’. I closed the Slack huddle where a dear colleague told me the news. My partner was working in the next room, on a conference call herself when I popped my head in. “Did they lay you off?” she asked, her voice tinged with worry. I nodded, unable to speak.
She returned to her conference call as I left the room. The shock hit me and I needed coffee to process what just happened. I sat at the kitchen table, took a pen and scrap piece of paper, and wrote “Now what?”
I looked at my scrawled handwriting, thinking about those words, drinking my coffee.
Layoffs Suck
“After almost 20 years working in engineering, I’d never thought I’d be jobless. I always thought I’d have a job,” my friend said over the phone. He had just been laid off as head of the land development department at a middle-sized engineering firm. The real estate market had imploded the year before and clients were canceling projects.
Layoffs were spreading through my industry back in 2008 and firms were laying off damn good people, mine included. I remember sitting in a conference room with HR and calling in a junior engineer from my department. As department head, I had to tell her she was being laid off.
She was devastated as tears welled up in her eyes. She asked if it was her job performance, but it wasn’t. She did nothing wrong, she just happened to be a victim of the economy and bad business practices on Wall Street.
I don’t remember what severance package they gave her but she packed up her things into a box and walked out of the office. That was the last I saw of her but I know she moved on and became a successful engineer, just like I always knew she would. She built her life and pursued her slice of happiness, and that brought me some consolation.
I’ve thought about that day a lot, not just right now, but over the years. There are people, places, and events that imprint themselves into our being, some for better and some for worse. No matter what side of that coin, the best lesson I’ve learned over the years is to practice equanimity.
While it’s only normal to feel sad when something bad happens, or joy when some good happens, keeping a level head throughout the good and bad is the best choice. Being equanimous and keeping an “even keel” lets you assess, understand, and even capitalize on things happening around you. In times like this, being emotional is only natural, but if you can remain dispassionate then you can keep control of your life.
So, now what?
The Day After Layoff
News traveled fast and a text from someone I trust dinged up on my phone. “Would you be interested in doing some consulting work?” I responded, “Yes!”
Within 24 hours of being laid off, I got to work fast, and I scrambled. I looked at the note I had scribbled and asked myself again, now what? I knew I had to draw up a plan and execute it but where do I start? Then I remembered something that could act as a guidepost for my “now what” question.
I remembered something I read about that people use to help organize their thoughts and evaluate their purpose in life. It’s called Ikigai, a Japanese concept that people find their purpose in life by answering four seemingly easy questions: what does the world need, what am I good at, what can I get paid for, and what do I love?
I asked myself those four questions and for a split second, I felt the stars align, the angels sing in heaven, and the storm clouds disappear over the horizon. I felt like I had gotten new marching orders from high above and I got to work.
I started cutting any money leaks I had by cutting subscriptions, consolidating accounts, and paying off short-term debt. I began to prepare myself for the “no more income” months once my severance ran out. The only thing I spent money on was incorporating a new business, a stealth startup.
Now comes the fun part, the strategy and execution. How will I complete my mission successfully and build something that aligns with those four Ikigai questions?
Be Bold, Be Brave, You Will Be Fine
The first week after being laid off was different, to say the least. I never believed that after decades of experience in the engineering and AI startup world, I’d ever be jobless. The axe had finally caught up with me after all these years, and it hurt. I won’t lie about that, it sucked.
It was the first Friday after I got axed and I had been working like a maniac trying to understand how to code in Golang and build Python microservices. I was exhausted, the stress of the layoff caught up to me. My partner had just shut off her computer and we headed upstairs to bed. We’d both worked 16 hours that day but there was a distinct difference in the work she did, she was being paid for it. Me? I was tinkering around all day and not getting paid for it anymore.
We slipped into bed, easing in for the night when I spoke out loud into the darkness. I told her how I thought I’d be upset or mad about the layoff but instead, I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. I told her that I miss my old co-workers and feel for them being under such stress right now.
I told her how I felt like I was setting sail to points unknown, with a faded map to show me the way when she turned and said, “Be bold, be brave, and you’ll be fine,” and turned out the light. I lay there in the dark with her words echoing through my head.
She was right. Now is the time to be bold and brave, and trust that you will be fine.
As I drifted off to sleep I had a vision of myself on the sailboat's bow, sails unfurling as the wind picked up behind me. The morning sun rose fast in the east and the clouds cleared on the horizon.
We picked up speed and the boat cut the water deeper. I stood on its deck, my hand on the mast, and scanned the horizon. Our heading? To points unknown. Salt spray hissed up at me and I wondered just where this new adventure would take me.