How to Blog Yourself to a New Life

I’m going to start this post with a big helping of gratitude. I’m so grateful to the 1000’s of readers that helped me get into the field of Data Science and Machine Learning. I was a part-time blogger that turned my passion into a full-time gig in the AI Startup world. This post is my way of paying it forward to you. Read below if you want to learn how to make money blogging.

My Journey

I started a blog back in 2006 writing about trading stocks and foreign exchange (Forex). I used my blog like the modern-day twitter/microblog than like a real blog these days. It was that, a weblog of what was going on in my life. I used it like Twitter, writing short updates as blog posts, and ended up amassing 100’s of useless posts. I don’t regret that because that’s what the Internet was like back then.

The sad reality is that work can sometimes paralyze you.

My blog came into being because my work was boring. I was working at a transportation firm as a Civil Engineer and my work life wasn’t very exciting. Don’t get me wrong, Civil Engineering is a great career but over time it turned out that it wasn’t for me.  

I had a hard time getting out of bed every morning and my mood was always sour by the end of the day.  It was starting to affect my family life and that was like a major warning bell for me. I needed to make a change but what?  I felt trapped at work, who would hire this 44-year-old man? I doubted myself and along with it, my confidence fell apart. 

The sad reality is that work can sometimes paralyze you. You end up doubting yourself and your abilities. It’s damn right scary when this happens and I knew I needed to make a change back in 2007. 

I needed to find something that matched my short attention span and was challenging. But what? The ‘what’ was starting a new blog in 2007. What I didn’t know was that this blog would change my life over the next seven years.

I started Neural Market Trends right after my old blog crashed and I lost all my posts. I needed to create a new one and I got bored writing about general stock market stuff. I decided to apply Data Mining (aka Machine Learning) to the stock market and see if I could make market predictions and post about them. If I got them right the majority of the time, I could amass a following like Seeking Alpha or other blogs.

I had found my passion, my true calling.

Of course, I wanted to start trading these models and make a lot of money. I had dreamed of trading my way to freedom where I could start a new career as a stay-at-home day trader. These were all dreams I had while I worked in a constrictive corporate office. I was being smothered and I needed freedom to move around. I like to think, take naps (for creative purposes) and blur my work and personal life. 

I’m not an ordinary guy that can do a 9 to 5! I am not a standard interchangeable ‘labor unit’ and I knew that I was worth more than what I was being paid.  

All these feelings and thoughts help me push ahead with my new blog. I started writing about trading models built with a powerful machine learning suite. I poured countless hours into this software, learning, building, and ultimately teaching. What I didn’t know at the time was that I was learning Data Science. I spent countless hours, days, and weeks writing and sharing with my readers. Then suddenly, my readership exploded! I was being backlinked, cross-posted in other blogs, and ultimately invited to speak at the first RapiMiner conference. 

Everything started to align 3 years after I started my blog.  I knew right then and there that I wanted to get into this field. I had found my passion, my true calling.  Yes, it took 3 years of working and writing to finally uncover my passion. I don’t mind that it took that long because some things need time to ‘gel’ in your mind. Sometimes you have to keep working to push through the obstacles.s

How do find the thing that makes you want to get out of bed every day?

Fast forward another 4 years and I switched my career into Sales Engineering at a Startup. I was offered a position at the Startup because of my blogging and communication skills, so in 2014 I said goodbye to a career that was stable and boring for one that was unstable and exciting. I found something that got me out of bed every morning, excited for the day ahead, and made me feel good when I went to bed at night. My mood changed, I rebuilt my confidence, and I became a better father and husband. I had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming but life has been pretty awesome since then.

Ok, enough about me. Let’s do you.

Find your Passion and Work at It

It took me 3 years to find my passion and another 4 years to execute on it. You could make the argument that once I found my passion I should’ve found a new job right away! Well, the job I had paralyzed me and I had serious doubts. These were the thoughts running through my head:

“I’m not good enough” or “No one will hire me, I’m too old” and even “What if I fail?”  

I will not deny that those thoughts are real and YOU will face them but in the end, they are nothing to worry about. I’ll write about these thoughts later, for now, let’s talk about YOUR passion.

Some people have summarized Ikigai into four questions, which is pretty helpful.

I found my passion by scouring the Internet for Machine Learning papers, reading some early blogs on the subject, and devoured anything I could find. I learned about Regular Expressions, taught myself Python, and followed every crazy whim I had. 

What if you’re not as lucky as I was? What if you’re paralyzed in a crappy job or an oppressive career? How do find the thing that makes you want to get out of bed every day?

I’ve given this a LONG HARD Thought over the years and it comes down to a simple Japanese principle called Ikigai. 

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “a reason for being”. You can read more about in the link but the gist of it is, what gets you out of bed in the morning? It’s your reason for being alive, your meaning of life, and that is what makes your life worth living. 

There are 100’s of bloggers that post Venn diagrams of Ikigai and their methods of how to make it all work. You should search for it but you’ll find that it’s become too commoditized. They miss the point of the entire meaning in my humble opinion.

Some people have summarized Ikigai into four questions, which is pretty helpful.  The four general questions you should ask yourself are:

1. What are you good at

2. What you love to do

3. What the world needs

4. What you can be paid for

You’ll realize that these 4 questions are part of a greater whole. That whole is your being for existence, your Magnum Opus, your life’s work. When you answer these questions, honestly, and when all work together in harmony, you’ll be the happiest person in the world. There’s nothing that can describe the feeling when all four of those questions align for you, you will just know it.

Still, you have to figure it out. So how do even start?

Getting Started

Getting started is the first step and it’s the hardest step. Getting started means thinking about what you want and then making a plan to achieve it. The sad thing is that this is the biggest hurdle you have to overcome and the probability of failing is very high.

How do you NOT fail?

I found out a long time again that people fall into three main groups for learning. These groups are visual, auditory, and kinetic.

Mind map drawings are the perfect way for you to ‘download’ all the stuff that’s been floating around in your head.  

Visual learners learn best through pictures, drawings, and slides. The majority of us are visual learners. Auditory learners learn best by reading or listening. The last group is Kinetic learners who learn by doing. They work at it in a physical sense. 

My proposition to you is to either write your new life down (auditory), draw it out (visual), or go for a walk (kinetic). This will make sense below. 

Write it down (auditory)

I’m starting with auditory learners because it’s my second method of learning. If it wasn’t then I wouldn’t be writing blog posts! The key thing to note is that Auditory learners love story-telling and reading. It’s their main way of learning. So let’s get started. 

First, get a blank piece of paper and a pencil. You’ll write down some questions that you’ll ask yourself. These questions will be very personal and may take some time to think about. 

If you don’t have any idea about what kind of questions to ask yourself, the following are a good start. Write them down and answer them.

“In my free time, I like to do”

“My hobbies are”

“If I had a chance, I would like to do this for a living”

“If I had more time to dedicate to this, I could be great at it”

“What will people remember me for?”

“If I could change the world, what would I do?”

Then I read them aloud and listen to them. I’ll even put the paper down and think about what I heard myself speak. Then I’ll read them aloud again. 

If something doesn’t feel right, I’ll change my answer or ask a different question. 

After a while, you’ll hear some interesting patterns in your answers. You’ll hear what your passion is. When you do, write it down and circle it. Put stars around it. Paste it to the wall and look at it every day. 

Mind Map Drawings (visual)

The next method is a visual way. This is my primary learning method and although I’m a terrible artist, I like to make mind map drawings. 

Mind map drawings are the perfect way for you to ‘download’ all the stuff that’s been floating around in your head. 

Here’s one I did a few years ago.

To get started with a mind map, get a piece of paper and a pencil. Then put a stick figure of yourself in the middle of the paper and draw circles around you. I usually do about 5 and then start filling up the bubbles.

What do you fill the bubbles with? 

The Big Rock items.

Fill them with what’s important to you. Things like family, your life, relationships, and work. Fill them with what you like to do and want to do. Think about what you love to do, what the world needs. 

Starting writing down anything that comes into your mind, it’s ok to edit and restart. Mind maps capture very fluid thoughts and subtle patterns. Some of these patterns are weak and others will be strong. 

This exercise will take a long time and you might have to start over a few times but stick with it. You can even use the writing prompts from the Write it Down section. If you get stuck, I recommend you do that. 

Go for a Walk (kinetic)

Going for a walk is a rather strange way to find your passion but it touches on the concept of ‘no-mind.’ 

No mind is a state of being where your body does something without thinking about it. It’s like the martial artist that practices the same moves every day, over and over again. On the day of the fight, he/she executes the moves without thinking. 

Your mind becomes calm and all the daily chatter goes quiet. Going for a walk helps clear your mind and allows you to be open to receiving your passion. It will happen in a flash. It will seem magical but it’s not, it’s been inside you the entire time. 

Once your walk is over, take a piece of a blank piece of paper and write down any flashes of inspiration you had. If there was no inspiration today, then go for a walk tomorrow or try a more vigorous form of exercise. Keep repeating this method until inspiration hits.  If it doesn’t, then try adding the writing prompts or mind mapping exercises above. 

Summary

By the time you’ve run through this section, you should be able to find something that excites you. A ‘seed’ of passion at the very least. If you don’t, then keep working at these exercises till you do. This step is the hardest and fraught with a high failure rate, don’t stop. 

I touched on the concept of Ikigai, a great starting point to help you frame your existing and future life. Remember those four questions from above?

1. What are you good at

2. What you love to do

3. What the world needs

4. What you can be paid for

Want to know what my answers were? After mind mapping, lots of walks, and writing every down I came up with these answers and key points.

What am I good at? Public speaking, writing and communicating.

What do I love to do? Solve problems and communicate.

What does the world need? AI Transformation, automating processes.

What can I be paid for? Being a Sales Engineer.

What are my hobbies: Blogging, photography, reading.

What are my Big Rocks: Family, writing, personal growth.

You Found Your Passion! Now What?

I’m so happy you found your passion, what do you do now? You will waste all your effort now if you don’t make a plan and execute it.

I didn’t have a plan in the beginning and that’s why it took me 7 years to change careers! I’m not sure if I could’ve done it sooner but in hindsight, I shouldn’t have let this slip. 

Take the time to think about a great domain name, register it, and then host it with  Bluehost or Dreamhost.

A plan is a set of measurable smaller goals that keep moving in the right direction. Your passion is what will drive you on.

The weird thing is that as you make your plan execute it, your passion might change. That’s ok, you might evolve and what got you excited in the beginning might not be the thing that you end up with!

The reality is that can’t go cold turkey overnight. I’m a big fan of easing yourself out of your old life into your new one. 

It all starts with a blog and we’ll focus on that. 

Start at the beginning – Set up a blog

Now, let’s get to the blogging part of this post. You’re going to need a blog if you want to “blog your way to a new life.” The good news is that setting up a blog has never been easier. There are so many ways to do it, you can sign up for a Blogger or Tumblr account or you have to host it yourself.

The best way is to host the blog yourself. If you use a 3rd party blog provider like Tumblr or Blogger, you can be removed at any time for the smallest thing! This has happened when malicious readers decide to ‘mess with you’ and it can cause weeks of headaches. YOU should be the Master of Your Domain!

Take the time to think about a great domain name, register it, and then host it with  Bluehost or Dreamhost.

DreamHost

Once your blog is ready, you’ll have to start writing about your passion. Now comes another problem, understanding the difference between writing and making content.

Anyone can write content but making great content is hard. If my passion was to make a sourdough bread baking blog, I could write about a recipe and post a few photos. That would be writing content and if I did that, I wouldn’t get very far with my blog.

There are 1000’s or even 100,000’s of bloggers that do that. They write some words, sprinkle some images, and call it done. Then they wonder why they have a very mediocre site in the end.

Making Content

Making content is HARD and it will consume a lot of your time. Do not skimp on this. If you ever think “Let me skip this step so I can post faster,” stop what you’re doing and take a step back. Don’t skip because the difference to your readers is in the details. 

Readers can discern a half-assed post over a quality post in the first few minutes of reading the post. They’ll bounce on your videos in seconds if it’s too kitschy or passes over your link in the search results.

Your blog will become your online resume and your brand. You need to protect and cultivate this from the very first day you launch your blog.

Let’s take the Sourdough Bread Baking Blog idea from above. 

Making content would look like this to me:

1. Well lit photos of different parts in the sourdough making process

2. A video or two of you kneading the dough and a timelapse of the bread rising as you’re baking it

3. A short video for Instagram on you cutting through the bread so people can hear the crunch and see the crumb

4. An infographic of your recipe

5. A detailed post of the recipe with a link to another post on how you made your sourdough starter

6. Sharing the infographic on Pinterest

That’s a lot of work and it will slow the frequency of your posting down, but it will be worth it in the end. 

Go To Market Strategy

I touched on this in my Sourdough Bread Baking Blog idea but it’s worth expanding on. When you’re making content you need to think about how it will be consumed. 

This ties into how people learn (auditory, visual, kinetic) and what channels you’ll use.

At the beginning of this post, I wrote about Finding Your Passion and how people learn in different ways. The same is true for those types of people when they consume information. If you want to reach a lot of auditory learning people, consider adding a podcast version of your post. If you want to reach visual learners, consider making an infographic. If you want to reach kinetic learners, consider making a video of you doing whatever it is you do. 

This extra content is what I call companion content and is important in your Go To Market strategy. This is about finding the right group of people to consume your content and build your brand. You need to always think about what the easiest way your readers will consume your content.

The last thing you should do is add a companion video for your blog post. This way can highlight key things in your blog post and the video for people to pay attention too. 

By creating a video you’re also increasing your consumption channels. Your blog post will only show up in one consumption channel, search! If you make a companion video with your blog post, your post will show up in search AND YouTube. You’ve doubled the chance that someone will see your content!

The same goes for other social media channels like Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Not every channel will be best for your niche but you should consider each on its merit. 

Time is all you need

I wrote that it took me seven years to turn my passion into my new life and I suspect it will take some time for you as well. I don’t know how long it will take but you need to stick with it. There will be highs and there will be lows. It’s NOT easy. 

Many bloggers will say “stick to a posting schedule” and that has some merit if you’re only writing content. When making content you should always focus on details and great content. It will take all the time it needs but in the end, it will make a deeper impact. 

Don’t worry about posting frequency and instead focus on quality. 

Over time you’ll notice that your blog will start gaining traction on the search results. People may start sharing your posts on Twitter or Facebook. You’ll get comments on your posts or likes on Instagram. Once that happens, KEEP GOING!

This will be hard to but keep making content. It will feel like a second job and it will drain your energy but that means your life is starting to change. You’ll start to be known as the “Bread Gal” or “Mr. Fix It Dad.”

Monetization Strategy

Let’s face it, if your passion project, your blog, starts to feel like a second job, you should start earning income. I turned my passion into a full-time job offer with a big raise to my salary at the time. It was a no-brainer for me to take the offer and the rest is history for me. 

Your experiences will be different. You might get offers to join startups or something else. Consider those offers if they make sense to you. If not, then consider monetizing your blog.

There are several ways to monetize your blog and I’ll touch on the big ones here.

1. Google Ads

2. YouTube

3. Affiliate Links

Google was once a sure-fire way to make a lot of money if you had the traffic. Then there were the ‘me too’ clones that promised more CPC and revenue than Google Ad competitors. This was all fine and dandy until one day the ad killers came. The Ad killers were either browser addons or built into the browser itself that strip the ads out of your posts. The reason why was that ads clutter up your content and people like reading clean content. 

You can still make money from Google Ads but I wouldn’t rely on it as the main source of your income. People will use browser add-ons to cancel out your ads. 

YouTube

YouTube has a way to monetize your videos if you have enough subscribers and view time over a year. This is not an instant money maker but if you grow your subscriber base and have high view time, you can make a lot of money.

YouTube is great for people who make things. Bakers, Cooks, Travelers, and many more can make great video content and post it. In time you’ll notice which topics in your given passion are popular and you can tailor your content to it. 

I like Affiliate Links because they’re unobtrusive and they’re reader-friendly. Amazon has affiliate links, Dreamhost and Bluehost do as well. These links cost nothing for the readers. When the reader buys a product or service from the Affiliate, the blogger gets a cut of the ‘commissions.’

This is a win-win situation but abusing affiliate links is very common. Many ‘Sploggers’ will write some crazy content so they can rank on Google and then try to get you to click on the link. This isn’t very cool, period. 

Affiliate links only work well if you become a trusted blogger and content creator. You use the products you recommend or have used in the past. For example, I’ve used Dreamhost in the past and still use it for managing my Domains. It’s a great hosting platform for starting new blogs. If people click on my affiliate link and start a hosting plan, I earn revenue. 

Putting it all together

In the end, blogging yourself into a new life is hard work. Nothing worthwhile will ever be easy BUT it’s so rewarding. Imagine waking up every morning and doing the thing you love and making money at it? You’ll never be unhappy again!

I hope that this post stirs you to action because I’m living proof that it can happen. I never thought that my passion would’ve led me to a new life. It’s been the best ride of my life and I know you can do it too.

Helpful Infographic

Please feel free to share this infographic if it’s helpful to you!


Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, I’ll earn a commission. When you purchase a product or service using one of my affiliate links, the company compensates me, which helps me run this blog and keep my content free of charge to you.

How Blogging Led to My Personal Growth

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been blogging now for over 15 years. I’ve written 100’s of posts, some short and some long. I’ve had my shares of ups and downs here but in the end, I’m glad I stuck with it. It’s made me realize that blogging has led to my personal growth. Blogging has become a career!

What’s happened is that I’ve been reposting and repopulating old posts from my archive. I took these posts down a few years ago thinking they were of no use, but now I realize I was wrong. Sure there was some cringe-worthy type of posts back then, but I look at them now and smile. I’m so far removed from them now and I realize I am so different now.

As I repopulate these posts I can’t help but remember where I was in my personal and professional life. I also notice how busy I was. My posting frequency is proportional to how crazy my work and personal life are. Yet still, I wrote at least a few posts a year. 

Year 2007 to 2009

Back in the early 2007-2009 era, I spent a lot of time blogging about Forex, Stocks, and using AI to trade the markets. It was during this time that I first wrote my RapidMiner tutorials. They brought me a lot of traffic and I adored the attention. I market timed and moved money in and out of my accounts, thinking I can beat the market. Lo and behold I was wrong. 

I made a sharp career change. I couldn’t believe how fast things could change, but they did for the better.

I also held onto some crazy ideas back then about Objectivism and Libertarianism. As I grow older I realize that this selfish way of living is a folly. Life does not have to be a zero-sum game. Yes, invest in your future but also invest in deep relationships, love, health, and Nature. Cultivate those and you’ll find balance and true wealth. 

Year 2010-2014

In the 2010 to 2014 era I saw some big changes to this blog. I ramped up my blog posts around Machine Learning and what was to become Data Science. I created a lot of YouTube videos on how to use RapidMiner and it generated even more traffic for me. I was still working full time as a Civil Engineer but I began to dream of moving into the Machine Learning space. As luck would have it, RapidMiner moved to Boston and got VC funding. 

In 2014, RapidMiner offered me a job as a Sales Engineer and I accepted. I made a sharp career change. I couldn’t believe how fast things could change, but they did for the better. 

I learned that passion, learning, and dedication can change your life. If you want something bad enough, you must chase it. You must work hard and learn, face the obstacles and work through or around them. After some time, you’ll see how far you’ve grown and how successful you can be. 

Year 2015-2017

From 2015 to 2017 I cut my teeth as a Data Scientist. I learned so much about Data Science, Marketing, and especially Sales. I’ve come to realize that I LOVE working in Sales. No matter how crazy and stressful it can be sometimes, it matches my personality. It’s who I am. The stars have aligned!

I’ve always loved public speaking and presenting and now I was presenting to CTO’s and CIO’s all over the USA. Yes, the travel burned me out but I learned how to compensate for that (now). I did make A LOT of bad decisions for my health. I ate too much, drank too much, and sat in my chair. While at RapidMiner I gained about 40 lbs, something I’m working off now. 

It’s been a wild and rewarding ride ever since!

I left RapidMiner in 2017 to start my own Data Science and Engineering consultancy. I built up a client base in both fields but left after a serendipitous phone call in July of next year, more on this next.

In the end, those years were tough working years. I loved every minute of it. The startup life was and IS for me. I looked back and kicked myself for not making the leap sooner. I learned that you can’t hide who you are, you must BE who you are. The longer you hide from that, the more miserable you will become. I know it’s scary and I’ll admit that I was scared, but there comes a time when it’s now or never. I chose now. 

Year 2018 – present

I worked in my own consultancy for over a year before I got a phone call from my now colleague J. We had met back in 2014 when she was a new hire at H2O.ai. She reached out to me because she had an extra ticket for H2O World in New York and offered it to me. I declined because I had some client meetings but I did tell her that I left RapidMiner last year. 

That call set up a chain reaction where two weeks later, I had an offer to join the Sales team at H2O.ai. I made preparations to close down my consultancy in September 2018 and joined the team. It’s been a wild and rewarding ride ever since!

I owe it all to Blogging

I owe everything to Blogging. I do. I took my passion for AI and turned it into a career. Along the way, I’ve met so many awesome people and now I’m surrounded by so many awesome people. I’m part of the Maker culture where you “make stuff” happen and I’m humbled to be there. It’s crazy, wild, stressful, adventurous, hard, enlightening, and plain awesome. 

I would’ve never been here if I resigned myself to my fate back in 2007. Do what scares you, do what you love. Make your world sing.

Do it!

If you’ve ever wondered if you could blog yourself to a new life, you can. I share some tips on how to do it in my How to Blog Yourself to a New Life post.

My First Week In Startup World

It was 5PM on a Friday and my first week at my first startup was over. Our small office was clearing out hitting a local bar for happy hour. I slumped in my seat, exhausted.

“What a week, it’s so frantic here,” I muttered under my breath as the CEO walked by.

He chuckled and said, “Well Tom, you asked for it. This is what you wanted.” He put in his coat and headed to the elevator.

Poof! Bad Tom whispered, “Fuck that you party pooper…

When I finally pulled myself up, I closed my laptop and packed up. I walked over to the elevator and thought about what I was going to do tonight. My Acela train was scheduled for Saturday morning and my Best Western hotel room had a lumpy bed.

At 43 years old I was debating just going to my hotel room to recover but the devil in me wanted to go hang out with the “youngsters.”

Poof! Good Tom whispered in my ear, “Just go get some take-out and chill out in your room. You’re too old.

Poof! Bad Tom whispered, “Fuck that you party pooper, go out and have fun with your team. It’s what you do in the startup world, you sissy!

There I sat pondering my dilemma. It didn’t take long, maybe 5 nanoseconds of thinking but Bad Tom won.

The waitress places a beer in front of me, I watch the foam spill over the sides.

Fast forward an Uber ride to a “hip” bar in Porter Square where I meet up with my coworkers.

“Hey!” The scream from across a table, the new AE raises his beer glass so I can see him.

I grab a chair at the end of the table as the appetizers arrive. I look at one of the beer menu cards and motion for the waitress to come over to take my order.

The AE looks over to me, catches my eye.

“Hey! I hate to tell you this but we’re going in a new direction for that account as of 3 PM today.”

The waitress places a beer in front of me, I watch the foam spill over the sides. He’s speaking words but they’re not registering in my mind right now.

“So all the stuff I worked on for the account is toast?”

He nods, “Let’s circle up Monday morning. Great job though, you wowed them at the presentation!” He slaps me on my back and goes back to a smaller group of guys.

All guys, a lot of young ones, and only a few old fucks like me.

I note it’s all salesmen and no saleswomen.

I take a long pull from my beer and munched on a quesadilla. We’re in a standard Boston bar, kind of darkish but modern with an open floor plan. It’s cool enough to attract the hipsters but too loud to have a good conversation.

I realize I’m that old, I’m more interested in having a conversation at a quieter bar. This place was built for one thing, to get you and your buddies stone-faced drunk, Boston style.

Things get loud throughout the evening as two distinct groups form. One is a group of introverted software developer types and the other is a small group of loud extroverted salesmen types.

I note it’s all salesmen and no saleswomen.

I sit there lost in thought, taking in the moment. Just over a week ago I was saying goodbye to my coworkers. They all thought I was nuts to quit my 20-year career as a civil engineer. To quit and join a startup that they didn’t understand. Machine learning? What is that? Is that like the Terminator?

…did I make the right choice?

I made one of the largest leaps in my entire life, I switched careers midstream in what would make a normal person faint.

I take another drink from my beer. I think about my partner, how she encouraged me to take the risk. She was my support, the one person who believed in my dreams and helped sail the ship when I couldn’t.

But this all made sense. I knew I was destined to break out of the chains that held me down. I knew I had to shed my anchor and get out of a job I hated.

Now I was a freshly minted Sales Engineer and a Data Scientist. A whatever you want me to be guy to help close a sale. I was always a nerd, an Engineer, a tinkerer.

I would’ve never in a million years thought that I would end up in Sales.

Never.

I looked around the table at my coworkers laughing and drinking the night away and I could help but wonder, did I make the right choice?


A lot of events have been changed to protect the “innocent”, even if they deserved it.

The Startup World is Nuts

I’ve been thinking long about whether or not I should write about my experiences in startup life or not. I have four startups under my belt, one never getting off the ground, the other I ran successfully for a year, and the last two were 100+ person startups, one of which I’m currently gainfully employed at.

Startups are the rage now, everyone wants to start one, work at one, and exit as a filthy millionaire. There are long nights, alcohol-fueled events, good and bad decisions, and in some cases a venture capital windfall.

You can hack it, you’re strong, young, and smart.

I’ve seen products get killed in their infancy and I’ve seen products that were considered a joke sell for millions of dollars.

I’ve seen coworkers come and go, upper management replaced, and middle management told to pack their shit and leave, only to be hired 5 minutes later because their replacement has no idea where anything was.

You’re probably wondering that this sounds like a job for you! You can hack it, you’re strong, young, and smart. You can’t wait to answer “how high” when the 25-year-old CEO says, “jump” and points to a cliff.

Don’t get too comfortable.

Best check your head the door first. Working at a startup requires a special type of person. It requires someone who thrives in the unknown and gets the job done. You might have the technical chops.

You might have an idea about scaling, and repeatable processes, maybe how to really move the needle, and you believe in the mission of the company.

You might be a great fit for that startup and that’s awesome! I’m so excited for you, but remember that the only thing constant in this space is change.

Don’t get too comfortable. I’ve seen a new hire arrive on his first day only to be told to go home because his offer was rescinded. His crime? Showing up after a Board Meeting where it was decided to wipe out 30 people to cut costs and he was caught in the crossfire.

Working in a startup isn’t for the faint of heart and hopefully, you’ll learn a most important skill. To work in this space you need to be flexible.

It’s nuts and I advise you to become a boring dentist instead.

I’m not the smartest guy in the room but I think I do alright, and part of my success is because I’m flexible. I try not to get set in my ways. The people that are too rigid to process, their “way or the highway” approach to things, will get eaten alive in this space.

I have seen new management come in and puff their chests out and call everyone losers because they had the right way to sell. A year later they scrapped their entire plan because it didn’t work.

I’ve seen companies triple nearly overnight with newcomers only concerned about building their fiefdoms and not fixing underlying problems. Many of those newcomers are long gone.

Just remember to be flexible and realize that it’s nuts.

I’m not trying to scare you, but the startup space is chaotic. It’s nuts and I advise you to become a boring dentist instead. Drill teeth, make money and go home every night. If you like a stable life, go do something else that works in a startup.

But, if you’re like me and thrive on challenges, chaos, and trusting your abilities to get shit done, then by all means try one out. Just remember to be flexible and realize that it’s nuts.

It’s all nuts, all the time, and will get even nuttier the longer you’re in one.

I’m a Cult Survivor

And I’m ready to reclaim my spirituality

Where to begin? I was six years old when my mother told me on Christmas Eve that year that it would be the last time we were going to celebrate Christmas and give gifts.

I didn’t understand. My first thought was, “what? no more presents?” Of course, that’s what I would think, six-year-olds are so predictable.

Women were to obey the man…

That evening led to 8 years of no birthdays, no holidays, or anything remotely worldly for me until I left. It fucked me up for decades until I learned to deprogram myself from that cult.

My mother joined the Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW) along with my aunt. I have no idea how they fell into the cult, but they did and they took my sister and me along with them. I spent those years listening to mind-numbing cult programming for 2 hours every Sunday.

I remember how the JW’s would pride themselves on not having a leader or pastor. It would be some brother, never a sister, giving the sermon that day. Women were to obey the man, just like in the scriptures, and the man was supposed to lead the family. In turn, they all submitted to Jehovah.

…did mom really bleed from her you know what?

Some of the sermons were pretty light topics on how one bad apple spoils the basket, but others were incredibly damaging and shaped my thinking patterns for years to come.

I remember listening to one sermon about period sex. It wasn’t framed that way but as “if a man and woman laid together during her time, he would be unclean for “X” days.” As a 7-year-old, I didn’t know what that meant — did mom really bleed from her you know what? That sermon is burned into my brain and still messes with me to this very day!

Another sermon was about how the end of the “system” was coming through Armageddon and Jesus would ride a white horse and kill all Satan and his followers. That was a code word for all the undesirable people in the society like gays, prostitutes and drug users, you know the lesser ones that Jesus told us to help?

Want to play with wizard warrior toys? No, no, Jehovah doesn’t like that.

Do you have two mommies? Or even two dads? Oh no, you’re not going to paradise.

Yet the strange thing was that Jehovah, or at least the Kingdom Hall — don’t ever call it a church — sure liked money. And these old white-haired men called the governing body seemed to direct and organize things for all the cult members to follow.

Week after week, year after year it was drilled into my head that the end of the world was coming and end to the system. The political system, other religious systems, whatever system you can think of (solar system?) they were against it and it was always coming to an end.

Don’t you dare celebrate your birthday or a holiday!

Are you dying and need a blood transfusion, forget it and just die!

It’s taken me years to realize that our need for spirituality is not a bug but a feature.

Want to dance, nope it’s only for married people!

Register to vote? Forget that, it was part of the system.

Higher education? Why bother, Armageddon was coming.

Care for the Earth? Doesn’t matter, use it all up because Jehovah will fix it all.

That last sentiment scares me the most because they couldn’t care less about our earth. They think paradise is something outside of this world. I dare to say that the paradise they seek is right in front of their fucking eyes!

Paradise right here and right now, but we’re burning it alive. We’re killing the very paradise we know for this death cult and the 100’s of others nut bag religions that just don’t get it.

It’s taken me years to realize that our need for spirituality is not a bug but a feature. In the truest terms it’s a search for the truth, to seek our connection to something greater than ourselves.

I don’t know if that’s God or Goddess or something else completely but for me, it’s the awe I see in Nature and its creation. Maybe it’s just a quirk in our brains, messed up wiring from when we walked out of the sea and onto the land, but what I do know is that in my short time in this glorious world that we need to protect it.

We need to fight for paradise right in front of our eyes, not some fantastical place that you can only get to if you appease a bunch of old white-haired old men.

Fuck you. I reclaim my spirituality from you. You don’t deserve the paradise we live in.


There are resources to help you leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses, please visit the r/exjw support group for more information. If you’ve been abused by an elder, please contact the police directly. Good luck friend.

Emerging Masculine Warrior Spirit

Feminine Warrior Spirit is Calling for You

Influencers talk a lot about it and we see many books around this subject. The shortest example of Warrior Spirit I’ve found is that it’s internal mastery of yourself and often a positive attitude to resolve or avoid conflicts, internal and external. This is my story of how it found me and what it means to me.

Albuquerque, 1995, Summer, Saturday morning. I woke up on my cold linoleum bathroom floor. Dried vomit was caked on my cheek and my head was pounding.

Ms. Tequila dug deep and showed me where my inner wounded boy was hiding.

That Friday evening started as any Friday evening when you’re young, dumb, and have crazy friends. It was lots of laughter, booze, and partying. The weather was divine that night and we had free reign of the complex pool. Good times were had until Ms. Tequila showed up at the party. She came with a friend and introduced herself to me. We made small talk and I went back to being the host of the party.

Somewhere in the middle of the party Ms. Tequila took my hand and led me to a dark corner to have her way with me, and I let her. I was 24, living in a city surrounded by a desert, and until that evening didn’t realize all the unresolved issues I had with my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up the November before and I thought I had processed all the ‘emotions’ associated with that affair. My ‘date’ was good at uncovering my most hidden emotions, and I thank her for that.

Without ripping the lid off this relationship coffin, I will tell you this, our relationship was deep, passionate, and loving. It was the first time I connected with someone on such a deep level and I believe she did too. Our nights were filled with laughter, exploration, and vulnerability. The down part of this relationship was that it was doomed from the start.

We didn’t break up because of cheating or some other form of incompatibility, we broke up because we were young and had our paths to walk in life. We found each other on the same path and walked together for a short time. Then we came to a crossroads and parted, each one of us looking over our shoulders until we couldn’t see each other anymore.

Birds of prey swooped down from imaginary perches and ripped their talons into me.

Ms. Tequila dug deep and showed me where my inner wounded boy was hiding. She opened the door and coaxed him out. We talked and she showed me how deep my feelings still ran for her. This led me to go into full ‘no one loves me’ mode as I began to unpack and mourned love lost.

By the time my guests started to leave, I was sloppy drunk. I took one last shot as the last guest left and sat there in the dark. Ms. Tequila had to leave too but she told me all will be better in the morning. I sat there in my dark living room until the room started to spin. I ran to the toilet and started to purge. I purged and purged and purged.

I purged like no tomorrow and all my sad emotions seemed to stream out of me into that toilet bowl, heave after heave. Then I passed out on the floor and fell into the darkest of blackness ever.

In the pitch darkness of my dreams, I saw something. An enveloping presence came to me. It had no discernible shape and whatever shape I recognized, it became it. At first, I thought it was a worm and then a snake. Then it was a wolf. Then there were many wolves and then vultures.

After all, that’s what we’re taught to do, isn’t it? Don’t cry and be a man?

Birds of prey swooped down from imaginary perches and ripped their talons into me. Even a little mouse appeared and nibbled at my flesh. All these animals surrounded me and ripped my body to shreds. I can still hear their cackles and grunts as they ate everything that was me. It sounded like a nightmare and I should’ve been running in my dream but I felt incredibly at peace. I felt like something good was happening to me.

As soon as the feast was over, they all vomited out my bones and left me in a big pile. In a flash, the enveloping presence put my bones back together again and my body was restored. Then everything went black again till the morning.


The morning after was horrible. I felt like complete shit, but something was different. The night before brought out many unresolved issues from my breakup and I was now ready to address them.

… I have a goal to do better.

Why did it take so long to resolve this inner conflict? Simple. I did what every average man does in our current society. I pushed it deep down inside myself and hid it where no one can see. After all, that’s what we’re taught to do, isn’t it? Don’t cry and be a man?

I realize now, after looking back to that party on that fateful Summer night that my Warrior Spirit had awakened. I believe that spiritually (and physically) I purged out a whole host of hidden issues and trauma that I carried with me to that day.

Was my life a bed of roses afterward? No, certainly not. Did I make mistakes going forward? Yes! Quite a lot.

Am I the perfect man, father, son? Far from it but I have a goal to do better. The Warrior Spirit taught me to work on myself, to do better.

Do better.

Do better in my life. Explore and meditate on things. Do better in my relationship with my wife. Do better in rearing my children. Do better for me. Do better for my community. Do better for the less fortunate.

We no longer honor Feminine Warrior Spirit.

I believe that we all have Warrior Spirit and that Spirit has no real gender. For me, it’s Masculine. Others find it to be Feminine and even others find it to be genderless. It’s energy and connection to the Divine and when we tap into it, we awaken something in ourselves.

It’s a connection to the deepest parts of the cosmic web we call life. It’s an ocean of love that we shouldn’t be afraid to swim in. It’s the tallest mountain that we must climb for ourselves.

But all is not well.

There is an abundance of Feminine Warrior Spirit but the Masculine is lacking. The ranks of brave Masculine Warriors have dwindled over time. Many got lazy and defected to the fleeting distractions of modern society. They got confused and no longer work on themselves. They no longer listen, reflect, and change for the better.

They don’t resolve inner conflicts and treat Feminine Warriors as lesser beings instead of as equal ones. They lost the ability to see their illumination and the ability to tap into their power.

We no longer honor Feminine Warrior Spirit.

They are calling out to us and we ignore them. They are asking for us to come back to the light but we cover our ears and ‘grab women by the pussy’.


Masculine Warrior Spirit is needed to start the healing the world needs, and most importantly now! Our Mother Earth is burning. There is too much violence and too much confusion. Awake Men!

I know that things are changing in the world for us Men and we shouldn’t be afraid. It’s a good thing. We’re at a spiritual crossroads and all life hangs in the balance. Without us, there can be no balance.

A call for help has been sounded by our sisters, mothers, and lovers. Don’t be afraid to let your inner child out of the emotional prison you were taught to build. Let them out into the light and let the Warrior Spirit training begin.

I’ll meet you on the other side.


Special thanks to Yael Wolfe and her I Can’t Live in the World of Man Anymore post for inspiring my post. Thank you.