Sun, Saltwater, Sex, and Dogs

Then it dawned on me. I had an epiphany. Love is renewable, time is not.

Sun, Saltwater, Sex, and Dogs
Photo by Quino Al / Unsplash

The most precious thing is time

I spent Labor Day weekend in Delaware with my partner camping, bike riding, and swimming at different beaches. It was the first time we felt comfortable enough to leave the kids at home, by themselves. Those three days were glorious and much needed for both of us.

Why? For the simple reason of reconnecting with each other.

Reconnection with your partner is a vital necessity to keep your relationship going. It’s the difference between happiness and misery.

So what did a dog have to do with it? Read on.

No distractions, focus on ourselves

We drove down to Delaware on Friday morning and got to the campsite just after lunch. We set up the tent and put out our chairs and gear.  We traveled a lot lighter this time, with no kids there was 50% less gear to carry!

We were camping with another couple for the weekend but they were running late so my partner and I headed over to Rehoboth Beach to check things out.

There’s nothing like playing with a dog to make a good day into the best day ever.

The weather was perfect but the ocean was rough, no one was allowed to swim because remnants of tropical storm Ida made it dangerous to do so.

We walked hand in hand in the sunshine up and down the boardwalk, looking at the stores, shops, and arcades. As night fell we watched the setting sun paint the sky and clouds a warm pink color. We had a light dinner and met up with the other couple.

In the morning we set out for our first 15+ mile bike ride. We rode for several hours, enjoying the views, and gorgeous weather, and spending time together. There were so many flowers in bloom and the perfumed scent made the trails a sensory delight.

We rode into an unguarded beach filled with Labor Day weekend beachgoers. It didn’t matter to us, we wanted to place our towels on the sand and go for a swim. We had worked up a good sweat by now and the cool water was inviting.

We alternated swimming and sunbathing for hours. We rubbed sunscreen on each other, fed each other orange slices, and watched the waves crash in front of us. The saltwater and sunshine felt like liberation.

Then we spied her, a good girl. There were several dogs on this beach, some friendlier than others, but this girl was the “goodest”. Her human threw a tennis ball up and down the beach and she raced at top speed to get it. Sand was flying, water was splashing, and she was happily barking.

It was fun to watch her. When the ball got too sandy she’d drop it into the surf to clean up before running it back to start the game all over again.

...the most precious thing you can ever give anyone is your time.

Then she did something different. She walked up to random people, dropped her tennis ball, and nudged them to throw it for her.

Almost every single person she trotted up to threw the ball for her and played with her a few times. She was ecstatic and so were the people. There’s nothing like playing with a dog to make a good day into the best day ever.

I sat there in the sunshine with a dog running thru the surf to catch a ball for a good 30 minutes. Then it dawned on me. I had an epiphany.

Love is renewable, time is not.

The most precious thing

Everyone thinks that having sex is the holy grail of reconnection. While it plays a big part in rekindling desire between lovers, it’s not the most important thing.

Hell, we didn’t have sex on that trip (camping is a bit rough for rolling in the hay), instead, we waited till we were back home in our bed.

The most important thing, dare I say the most precious thing you can ever give anyone is your time.

Time riding bicycles together. Time swimming together. Time playing with a dog together. Time having dinner together. Time holding hands. Time kissing each other under the stars. Time sharing an ice cream. Time planning together.

You can always rekindle your love and desire for each other if you really want to but you can’t do that if you don’t spend time together.

Love is renewable. It can be if you really want it, but time is fleeting.

Many couples talk about going away together to reconnect but then spend their time not "in the moment" with each other. They do spend time in each other’s proximity but it’s not truly together, it’s not focused, and it’s definitely not in the moment. They miss the entire point of spending time together, it’s not the quantity but the quality.

You don’t need to go to a fancy hotel or jet-set away to an island, reconnection can happen on a walk together. It can be in a kitchen where the both of you cook dinner together. it doesn’t matter because it can happen anywhere you spend quality time together.

Spending focused and in the moment time together is the most precious thing you can give your lover/partner. It is the most important ingredient to reconnection and rekindling your desire for each other.

Love is very renewable if you want it bad enough, but time? That’s ephemeral, fleeting, and will slip through your fingers if you’re not careful. That’s why it’s the most precious thing in the world. Not just for you, but for reconnecting with your partner.