Thank you 2018

I was on Twitter the other day and someone had posted a set of old Tweets about how bad the year sucked. One tweet was “2014 sucked, let’s hope for a better 2015” and the next was  “2015 sucked, let’s hope for a better 2016,” and so on. I felt really bad for those people because I’m of the opinion that every year you spend above ground (aka alive), is a good year. Sure, there are good and bad times but you can’t truly understand the joy of the good without the pain of the bad.

2018 is about to wrap up and I’m grateful to have been a part of it. I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the year and practice gratitude. It’s an important thing that I do nearly every day in my life because doing so has changed my life. I no longer ‘sweat the small stuff’ but find those important ‘big rocks’ in my life.

Family BAE

My family. What else is there in my life? My family is BAE. What’s BAE? It’s Before Anything/Anyone Else. Of course my niece informed me that BAE is no longer used but it’s an apt acronym for how I feel.

My wife and children remain the bedrock of my life.

I loved all the camping trips, game nights, and time spent together this year. I’m grateful for my cooking class so I was able to cook them nutritious meals and actually get a ‘thumbs up!’  when they loved it. I will cherish the many “I love you Dads” from my kids and the “I love you ” whispers from my wife late at night. My wife and children remain the bedrock of my life.

I’m grateful for my parents and the fact that they’re still alive and kicking. Time moves way to fast these days and I’m happy to spend time with them.  I’m grateful for my sister and nephews, my cousins, and extended Asian family. We’re spread across the world like seeds. How lucky are we?

Work

I’m grateful for the work I do. I use my mind to solve problems and I love it. I work in an exciting field where I get to travel and make impacts in the world. I’m grateful for the education I received many years ago and I’m even grateful for spending 20 years in the wrong career. It was my passion the drove me to start a successful blog in machine learning that launched me into a new career at age 44.

I’m grateful for learning the lesson of ‘being true to ones self.’ It was a hard lesson and first I felt like I was jumping off a cliff but in reality, I was just stepping off a curb.

Life

I’m thankful for everything in my life. I’ve learned to simplify and find peace. I’ve learned how to make sourdough bread from scratch. It feels wonderful to make it by hand. I learned how to make pasta from scratch and be a better cook in general.

…I felt like I was jumping off a cliff but in reality, I was just stepping off a curb.

I have good friends at my Karate Dojo and two close friends living far away from me.  I have a roof over my head and a refrigerator stocked with food. I live in woods, a place I’ve always dreamed about as kid. I go hiking and have adventures. I’m grateful to be writing again.

I’m truly blessed.

Thank you 2018, you were wonderful.

I hope yours was too.

When is it not busy?

Dear Friend,

It’s been a busy year up till now, and that’s ok with me. I closed down my consultancy and joined a new firm in September. I went from being busy to super busy, and that’s ok.

Being busy means that I need to be hyper aware of my time. I need to be on point with work and with my family life. I need to invest my time in people and myself. Time is the only resource that is not renewable. One it’s gone, it’s gone.

Invest your time

There is no bank or mutual fund where you can invest your time in and get more time back. There is no way to stop the flow of time once it’s begun for us at conception. There are ways to capture it, to use it, but it all leads to once place. The future.

The most precious thing you can give any person is your time. As a parent, I spend a lot of my time with my children. I invest my time into them so that they become a better human being than me.

I invest my time with my wife so the I may have a deeper and loving relationship. Building a life with someone and ‘grow old’ with them is a wonderful thing.

I invest my time writing, reading, and tinkering. It is so that I can better myself. A better man. A more informed citizen. I invest my time working so that I may earn a living and prepare for the golden years.

Waste your time

I try not to waste time.

I try not to waste time on useless meetings and frivolous
work. I try not to waste my time on people that are negative and lack compassion.I try not to waste my time getting angry.

I try not to waste my time on things that don’t interest me.

I try not to waste my time, period.

Start today

Why am I spending time thinking about time?

It might be because my mortality is starting to stare me in my face. When I was in my 20’s, my body stayed the same for years. There was no noticeable change from 21 to 22 to 23, and so on.

Once I turned 40 I began to notice a change from year to year. A little more hair loss, an aging face, a bit too much weight around the belly. Add in family and work life, and I felt like time is accelerating.

In my 20’s, there was too much time. In my 40’s, there’s not enough. I’m reminded by the Rush song, “Time Stand Still.”

Summer’s going fast
Nights growing colder
Children growing up
Old friends growing older

Thank you

I want you to think about your time. It’s all you got and it’s not ‘all the time in the world.’

Do you feel the urgency yet?

I hope you do.

Thank you for reading. I hope that I did not waste your time.

Compartmentalize

Dear Friend,

I wrote three (3) out of the ordinary posts on my Machine Learning blog. I wonder if that was a wise thing to do.

I started THIS blog as way to explore what I’ve been feeling lately. To write about things that make me feel alive.

I CREATED this blog as a way compartmentalize my life. To make a professional and personal box.

Neat.

Tidy.

Fucked.
.
.
.

I can’t compartmentalize my blogs any longer.

I can’t keep them separate. It’s not right.

I can’t be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

I am both.

I am analytical. I’m empathetic. I’m searching

I can’t compartmentalize my life any longer

What to do?

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a break from other blog. I’ve already pulled off any Google Ads.

I gave up making money there. Why?

I already make money. Why do I want more?

More.

Everyone wants more, but more of what?

More money. More fun. More love.

More.

I want contentedness. Peace. Centering.

I want to look out into my backyard and feel magic again.

>when he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him
> by nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact
> no tradebacks… *Pearl Jam*

This life is awesome.