Thank you 2018

I was on Twitter the other day and someone had posted a set of old Tweets about how bad the year sucked. One tweet was “2014 sucked, let’s hope for a better 2015” and the next was “2015 sucked, let’s hope for a better 2016,” and so on. I felt really bad for those people because I’m of the opinion that every year you spend above ground (aka alive), is a good year. Sure, there are good and bad times but you can’t truly understand the joy of the good without the pain of the bad.

2018 is about to wrap up and I’m grateful to have been a part of it. I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the year and practice gratitude. It’s an important thing that I do nearly every day in my life because doing so has changed my life. I no longer ‘sweat the small stuff’ but find those important ‘big rocks’ in my life.

Family BAE

My family. What else is there in my life? My family is BAE. What’s BAE? It’s Before Anything/Anyone Else. Of course my niece informed me that BAE is no longer used but it’s an apt acronym for how I feel.

My wife and children remain the bedrock of my life.

I loved all the camping trips, game nights, and time spent together this year. I’m grateful for my cooking class so I was able to cook them nutritious meals and actually get a ‘thumbs up!’ when they loved it. I will cherish the many “I love you Dads” from my kids and the “I love you ” whispers from my wife late at night. My wife and children remain the bedrock of my life.

I’m grateful for my parents and the fact that they’re still alive and kicking. Time moves way to fast these days and I’m happy to spend time with them. I’m grateful for my sister and nephews, my cousins, and extended Asian family. We’re spread across the world like seeds. How lucky are we?

Work

I’m grateful for the work I do. I use my mind to solve problems and I love it. I work in an exciting field where I get to travel and make impacts in the world. I’m grateful for the education I received many years ago and I’m even grateful for spending 20 years in the wrong career. It was my passion the drove me to start a successful blog in machine learning that launched me into a new career at age 44.

I’m grateful for learning the lesson of ‘being true to ones self.’ It was a hard lesson and first I felt like I was jumping off a cliff but in reality, I was just stepping off a curb.

Life

I’m thankful for everything in my life. I’ve learned to simplify and find peace. I’ve learned how to make sourdough bread from scratch. It feels wonderful to make it by hand. I learned how to make pasta from scratch and be a better cook in general.

…I felt like I was jumping off a cliff but in reality, I was just stepping off a curb.

I have good friends at my Karate Dojo and two close friends living far away from me. I have a roof over my head and a refrigerator stocked with food. I live in woods, a place I’ve always dreamed about as kid. I go hiking and have adventures. I’m grateful to be writing again.

I’m truly blessed.

Thank you 2018, you were wonderful.

I hope yours was too.

When is it not busy?

Dear Friend,

It’s been a busy year up till now, and that’s ok with me. I closed down my consultancy and joined a new firm in September. I went from being busy to super busy, and that’s ok.

Being busy means that I need to be hyper aware of my time. I need to be on point with work and with my family life. I need to invest my time in people and myself. Time is the only resource that is not renewable. One it’s gone, it’s gone.

Invest your time

There is no bank or mutual fund where you can invest your time in and get more time back. There is no way to stop the flow of time once it’s begun for us at conception. There are ways to capture it, to use it, but it all leads to once place. The future.

The most precious thing you can give any person is your time. As a parent, I spend a lot of my time with my children. I invest my time into them so that they become a better human being than me.

I invest my time with my wife so the I may have a deeper and loving relationship. Building a life with someone and ‘grow old’ with them is a wonderful thing.

I invest my time writing, reading, and tinkering. It is so that I can better myself. A better man. A more informed citizen. I invest my time working so that I may earn a living and prepare for the golden years.

Waste your time

I try not to waste time.

I try not to waste time on useless meetings and frivolous
work. I try not to waste my time on people that are negative and lack compassion.I try not to waste my time getting angry.

I try not to waste my time on things that don’t interest me.

I try not to waste my time, period.

Start today

Why am I spending time thinking about time?

It might be because my mortality is starting to stare me in my face. When I was in my 20’s, my body stayed the same for years. There was no noticeable change from 21 to 22 to 23, and so on.

Once I turned 40 I began to notice a change from year to year. A little more hair loss, an aging face, a bit too much weight around the belly. Add in family and work life, and I felt like time is accelerating.

In my 20’s, there was too much time. In my 40’s, there’s not enough. I’m reminded by the Rush song, “Time Stand Still.”

Summer’s going fast
Nights growing colder
Children growing up
Old friends growing older

Thank you

I want you to think about your time. It’s all you got and it’s not ‘all the time in the world.’

Do you feel the urgency yet?

I hope you do.

Thank you for reading. I hope that I did not waste your time.

London 2018

I’m in London for work and managed to take a few photos walking around this weekend.

I managed to meet an old work colleague in London for a few drinks. It was strange but I only knew him for 4 months back 25 years ago, but we hit it off.

Sure Facebook helped reconnect us, but we’re both fathers now and have gotten older and perhaps a bit wiser.

We had several drinks, spoke of politics, life, old friends, and parenthood.

Just before we left he said that it’s quite possible we’d never see each other again. He’s right, we might not.

Nothing is guaranteed in this life. Nothing.

Don’t wait to call your parents.

Don’t wait to say you’re sorry.

Don’t wait to tell that girl or boy you like them.

Don’t wait.

If the opportunity presents itself, you should take it.

A Photography Guide to Shooting Film

This is a rant piece that aims to be somewhat informative, ideally. Right now there are so many “film” shooters selling courses or workshops on how to shoot film. They opine on how much better film is than digital, how it’s purer experience, etc. It just pisses me off and I figured it was high time that I share my 15+ years shooting print and slide film. As a disclaimer, I’m a 90% digital shooter now and I will explain why later in the rant piece.

Digital to Film

Here’s my biggest piece of advice. Start out shooting digital. Just do it. Make you’re mistakes, see them on the screen. Learn about aperture, shutter speed, ISO, and all the other technical things that you’ll need to know as a photographer or hobbyist. It costs a lot of money to buy and develop film (see below), so make your mistakes on digital and don’t repeat them on film!

Shooting Film costs Money

There’s no way around this, if you want to shoot film it’s going to cost you money. You have two big expenses, buying film and developing film. You can argue about storing film in freezers both require a freezer and electricity but let’s not be a wiseass, ok?

My guess is that you’re going to start with 35mm film camera and a roll of film. I suggest starting out with some 400 ISO film to get your feet wet and and a roll of Kodak Gold 400 – 24 exposures is going to cost you $6.49 without tax. That’s $0.27 per frame without development.

Depending on where you go, it could cost you between $11 to $39 to process **and** scan your images. Don’t give me any sass about the scanning part, you’re going to want to share your film photos on social media anyway. I usually get my film processed and scanned here.

Let’s say you go with with the large scans, that’s $19 and puts you back an additional $0.79 per frame. Total cost is *$1.06* everytime you click the shutter. Tired of the lame Kodak Gold film and want to shoot some nice Portra 160 or Ektar 100with 36 exposures? That’ll be $11.28 per roll or $0.31 per frame. Add in the development…you get the picture. It’s $1.10 everytime you press the shutter.

But…but…you need a computer and LightRoom and storage for digital! Right you are but you’ll need the same + plastic sleeves + physical storage if you want to post your masterpieces online.

Film slows me down

Oh shut up with this. You can shoot a roll of film just as fast and get shit. Whether I shoot digital or film, I take my time. Have I shot a lot of fuckups on film, you bet! I have I messed up digital, you bet. Cameras are like a hammer – a tool. An experienced carpenter can build you a house but a rookie can just make holes in drywall. Go as slow or fast as you want, don’t say film is superior because it’s not true.

Film gear is really cheap now!

The majority of it is but because of these Film nuts enthusiasts, really good cameras and lens are pretty darn expensive. I’m a big fan of the Ricoh street cameras and they go for about $500 on ebay now. WOW. I can get a Canon 50d for half that price!

If you really want to shoot film

Buy film in bulk, store it in a freezer, find a good lab that will develop and/or scan your images, OR buy a scanner.

You could always learn how to develop black and white, which makes a lot of sense IMHO. You can cut down your costs that way as well.

End notes TL;dr

Start with digital, make your mistakes and learn from them, then move to film. Save your money from “I love Film” courses. Go out and take pictures.

Compartmentalize

Dear Friend,

I wrote three (3) out of the ordinary posts on my Machine Learning blog. I wonder if that was a wise thing to do.

I started THIS blog as way to explore what I’ve been feeling lately. To write about things that make me feel alive.

I CREATED this blog as a way compartmentalize my life. To make a professional and personal box.

Neat.

Tidy.

Fucked.
.
.
.

I can’t compartmentalize my blogs any longer.

I can’t keep them separate. It’s not right.

I can’t be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

I am both.

I am analytical. I’m empathetic. I’m searching

I can’t compartmentalize my life any longer

What to do?

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a break from other blog. I’ve already pulled off any Google Ads.

I gave up making money there. Why?

I already make money. Why do I want more?

More.

Everyone wants more, but more of what?

More money. More fun. More love.

More.

I want contentedness. Peace. Centering.

I want to look out into my backyard and feel magic again.

>when he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him
> by nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact
> no tradebacks… *Pearl Jam*

This life is awesome.

Current Status

A few days ago but still gorgeous.